Recently I caught up with my parents over the phone, just the general how’s work, how’s life etc. There I was, after not speaking to them for some weeks, just having a good old moan about London weather and sharing my recent, ground breaking, realisation that I had been wearing a wool coat for the past 7 months. Then my Dad said, “Well then Nix, what are you going to do about it?” My answer, well honestly nothing, it’s the weather and as much as I can’t control the lack of sunny days, I can’t control 2 degrees and snow flurries in Spring (but really London, what made you think that was ok?).
Anyway, it got me thinking, not about my moaning about the weather, but about our general lack of ownership as humans about situations in life that we do actually have control of. I work with clients daily who want to lose weight, get fit and have more energy, but when we broach some of the options on how to make that happen they sigh and say, ah it’s so much effort and I am already so stressed with work.
Another example, in July when I first moved here, I took a job at a hospital in Birmingham. Swayed by my recruiters ability to belittle my skills to appear inadequate compared to those trained in the UK, I felt I didn’t have another option. On arrival I found the recruiter was far from right, and I was furious that I had questioned my own ability. I resented that job and Birmingham, I felt trapped and felt I had to stay there. In hindsight I had so many options but I was too afraid to stand my ground, say “no thanks this role is not for me” and pack my bag to get out of there.
Most of the time when I hear complaints, out of my own mouth, or from those around me, they are often shrugged off as a #firstworldproblem and we all console each other about how hard life is. For example, London’s cold, London’s expensive, I am too tired to cook, I can’t decide what to buy for lunch, I am so stressed at work, I don’t have enough money, I am unhappy in my job, I can’t sleep properly, I am so unfit, or the worst…I can’t decide where to travel? I do admit, when it comes to travel, too many options can cause paralysis by analysis, but for all those moans, the response really is, “so what are you going to do about it?”
The premise behind all this is to stop thinking that you are the victim of the situation. Most of these things don’t happen to us in life without us making conscious decisions that influence the outcome to a certain extent. Obviously, there are some exceptions but lets not be pedantic here. But it is also how we decide to react to a situation as well. It is about swapping the scenario to take control of the situation, rather than let the situation or cycle of moans, take control of you.
So, you know that niggle in your life that you think you have no control over? Well… what are you going to do about it?